Brilliant, but irresponsable
Most of our everyday conflicts mold us into what we are today. I can’t remember any big conflict that I had or I was involved in, but I remember my father telling some conflicts he had with his siblings, especially his older brother, Milton. They always had small conflicts; I guess that is part of growing up with siblings of different ages. However, when both of them were adults Milton’s behavior started to affect his relationship with the rest of the family. I believe my father is what he is today because of this instable relationship with Milton, and also his older brother’s relationship towards the family.
When my father tells stories about his childhood, I am little confused about my father’s feelings towards his older brother. I remember he used to tell me and my brother how great Milton was in the school. He wasn’t only a good student, but also very talented in many different sports, especially, basketball. However, he was very irresponsible; always cutting classes or getting into fights. My father’s family thought Milton would change when he moved to another city to attend one of the best colleges of the state, but he didn’t change.
My father believes Milton never appreciated the efforts the whole family did to pay his college expenses. After he graduated he decided not to go back home, but to get married to one of the girls he dated during college. Finally, my father’s family thought he had learned to be more responsible, but again Milton disappointed his family and my father. On his wedding day Milton called my father asking for money to buy his own wedding suit, and again my father had to help him. In addition, the whole family saw the bride for the first time when she was walking down the aisle of the church. After the wedding, Milton never called his parents to ask if they needed anything or just to know how they were. He called a couple of times just to ask for money, and when my father learned about these calls, he told Milton to never call again if it was the only reason he was calling his parents. It was a hard decision for my father, but he knew it was the right thing to do. Milton was a grown up man who should be helping his old parents, instead of taking money from them.
The conflict happened before I was even born, so I don’t really remember my uncle. I have seen only pictures when he was still living with my grandparents. My father tells me that Milton came to visit us a few times after I was born, but I was too young to remember. I can’t say I miss him because I never had a real chance to meet him. It is sad because he has a twenty year old son who my father’s family had only one chance to meet; the boy was about five year old.
I believe the conflict between my father and his brother made my father a better son to my grandparents. Milton wasn’t there for them, so my father became the “older” son taking all the responsibility to ensure his parents had everything they needed. My father visits his parents every weekend or if he cannot make it, he at least calls to see if they need anything. Today, I see how my grandparents rely on my father because they always ask him before making any decision about anything. Plus, I believe I have learned a lot from my father’s conflicts with his family; even though he doesn’t talk much about it. Furthermore, he has shown me how important it is to have a good relationship with the family, and also a family we can rely on.
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