Composition #5

Should I stay or should I go

The US is a new country compared to some nations from Asia or the Mideast, which are rich in old customs and beliefs. For this reason, many immigrants have had difficulty to balance their ancestors’ traditions with the new American customs, when they decide to live in the US. As we know we cannot choose the family we were born in. Consequently, sometimes it is very hard to accept their old traditions that they have been following for generations. Personally, I haven’t have problems in adapting to American customs, but I have met people who have struggled to keep some of their family traditions.

First, I know it is not easy to leave our mother country and start a new life in a country with a different language and customs. However, sometimes it is not a choice that we make for free will, but it is a chance to escape from an authoritative government or a family that deprive us from free speech. It was one of the reasons my friend left her country, India. Her family was suffocating her with all the family and Indian traditions.

She used to live in India with her parents and two older siblings, a brother and sister. She knew since she was very young that her family and parents would decide her future for her by choosing her husband. It might sound out dated talking about arranged marriage today, but my friend said is still happens in some families, unfortunately her family was one of them. This happened to her older sister and brother; both of them had no choice of who they would spend the rest of their lives with. I think because they were a wealthy family, so they didn’t want to see their children falling in love with a lower social class person. They thought keeping this old custom of arranging marriage would be the best way to avoid mixed social classes.

When she finished high-school her parents were looking for a husband, but she asked them if she could go to college; it was her excuse to her parents that with a college degree she would get a better husband. She didn’t want to be like her sister, married to a man who wasn’t making her happy, so she had to try to extend as much as she could the arranged marriage. My friend managed to finish college without being bothered by her parents, but now with no more college excuse she would have to accept her parent’s plan. However, she got a job offer in the US because she had the highest grades during college. Of course, my friend’s parents were not happy and they tried to hush a wedding without her knowledge. My friend figured out their plan and she was disappointed in them because they didn’t consider their daughter’s feelings. So she took the job. When she told her parents she was moving to the US, they didn’t say anything. They just left the room saying a few minutes later that they had only two children now.

Since that day, she has only spoken to her sister, but not her parents or the rest of the family. I think my friend’s sister is proud of her for having the strength to fight against a very traditional custom; something my friend’s sister didn’t’ have.

When my friend told me her story I couldn’t believe it. At first, I thought she was joking because it just sounded like a movie, but she said it has happened to some of her friends too. Although, she said there are a few women who have the strength to leave their family and live with a person they chose, or just move to another country and start a new life. She misses her family, but the idea of having a child growing up without a choice, just like her sister, have the strength to break free from this old tradition. My friend doesn’t regret for having walked away from her out dated family. Plus, she hopes her children can understand and appreciate the freedom they have living in the US; something she didn’t have with her parents.